Back in April 2020, I created a YouTube channel. I was doing all the things that made me uncomfortable during that time (lol). Anyway, I recorded my journey to my first NPC bodybuilding competition in the Wellness division. It was an interesting journey and I stuck to my “must post once a week” routine. I didn’t have a video that blew up nor did I have a lot of views, but I wanted to just do something different that could encourage me to keep doing uncomfortable things in the future. Once I posted the last video of that series, my show day video, I stopped… I can’t really explain why I stopped… Well, actually I can… let me be transparent...
It’s hard for me to admit it, but friendships are important. I was watching a vlog the other day and the young lady was discussing how she cut off all her friends because she wasn’t sure if they actually wanted to be her friend. She knew that it likely had something to do with her Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), but she went through with deleting all their numbers anyway. Now, she is struggling with her depression because she feels alone and don’t have anyone she feels she can talk to. I don’t have BPD, but I totally get it. When I am having a dark cloud moment, I don’t want my friends or family to see me that way, so...
Is it seriously already October 2021? Where did the time go?!? As I sit here and reflect, it is easy to focus on what I didn’t accomplish that I set out to accomplish at the beginning of the year. I immediately thought about my goal of learning all the basics of playing the bass guitar by the end of the year – clearly that didn’t happen. I also expected to below 30% body fat by now, but here we are. One thing that I did learn, with some therapy, is that I struggle to give myself grace. What do I mean by that? Giving yourself grace is letting go of the self-criticism and accepting that perfection doesn’t exist. It’s an...
Let me be honest with you, I'm getting over post-competition depression. Yes, it's a thing and I was an easy target considering my background. I didn't go into my first competition not knowing about it. In fact, that was one of the first things my trainer told me about because of my history and my struggles with symptoms that similar to those who have body dysmorphic disorder. Regardless, here I am... I dropped from almost 140 lbs to 114 lbs for my figure competition and I, personally, felt great after the show.. like the first couple of weeks anyway. I could eat again! As I've stated before, I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy and when I...
Life is full of lessons. There is so much to learn if you are paying attention. As I have stated so many times before, I initially started my fitness journey to manage my depression and anxiety. The gym has become a very sacred place for me like it is for so many others. It was through fitness, I learned so much more about myself. Here are the top three (3) lessons that my fitness journey has taught me thus far... (1) Fear of failure is one of the BIGGEST roadblocks. Will Smith stated, "Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things...
