It’s hard for me to admit it, but friendships are important. I was watching a vlog the other day and the young lady was discussing how she cut off all her friends because she wasn’t sure if they actually wanted to be her friend. She knew that it likely had something to do with her Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), but she went through with deleting all their numbers anyway. Now, she is struggling with her depression because she feels alone and don’t have anyone she feels she can talk to. I don’t have BPD, but I totally get it.
When I am having a dark cloud moment, I don’t want my friends or family to see me that way, so I tend to close them out. To be honest, I avoid human contact all together if I can. It was only recently that I even told my parents about my diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). The withdrawal is real. It’s hard to build close relationships knowing that some days you’re going to wake up and must go to war with your own mind. It’s draining, and often you begin to feel like a burden to those you care about. Some days you want to scream out for help, but you feel that there is really nothing they can do and you don’t want them to think you’re just “being negative”. So… you try to handle it on your own and here comes loneliness busting through like the Kool-Aid man… “Oh Yeah!”
The reality is that healthy relationships with other people matter. Don’t misunderstand that sentence though. My circle is small and the people in my close circle are people that make me better in different aspects of my life. I mean, let’s be honest with each other. Your close circle influences who you become and what you tend to do with your life. This is why you can “outgrow” some people. Everyone isn’t intended to stay in your life for the long haul. Some people are only in your life for a season. Be grateful for the lessons you learn from them but pray that God blesses you with discernment to know when to let go and the strength to actually do it. Yet, those good few that make you a better version of yourself… those that encourage and support you, those that understand who you are and who you can be, those that are trustworthy and offer unconditional love… those friends you keep, forever.