Back in April 2020, I created a YouTube channel. I was doing all the things that made me uncomfortable during that time (lol). Anyway, I recorded my journey to my first NPC bodybuilding competition in the Wellness division. It was an interesting journey and I stuck to my “must post once a week” routine. I didn’t have a video that blew up nor did I have a lot of views, but I wanted to just do something different that could encourage me to keep doing uncomfortable things in the future. Once I posted the last video of that series, my show day video, I stopped…
I can’t really explain why I stopped… Well, actually I can… let me be transparent here. I didn’t think I had enough views so maybe it was a flop and I thoroughly believe I live a very boring life. I never know what to record, my workouts are very repetitive (lol) and, to be honest, I haven’t totally got over the fear of recording in public. I hate people looking at me, but it comes with filming yourself especially with a camera and not your cellphone. I’ve seen a lot of YouTubers state that the more you do it, the more comfortable you become and the less you care about people watching you… not there yet (lol).
So – what am I going to do? Well, my husband is a huge supporter of my dreams and upgraded my camera as inspiration to get back in the YouTube game. He believes the people need to see me. You see, my dream isn’t to become a famous “influencer” or the next Christian Guzman (don’t know him? Look him up lol). My dream is to make a HUGE impact on people such that when they start having intense depressive thoughts, they hear my voice faintly in the back of their head saying don’t give up, you’re not alone and it gives them the courage and strength they need to seek help. When I die, I want to die knowing I left a positive, memorable mark on the world (yes, the world… not just my city, state, or country). They say if your dreams don’t scare you, then you aren’t dreaming big enough. This vision terrifies me. Actually, it may not even be the vision itself, but the process of making my dream reality (especially when you don’t know what you’re doing). Yes people, I am still winging it (lol). However, I have learned one thing on this journey and that’s just do it. Nike was absolutely right.
I don’t have anything figured out yet and I have been working on this vision for a couple of years now. Regardless, I believe this vision was given to me and me alone. I don’t believe God would very clearly give me a vision and expect me to drop the ball. Sometimes you just got to keep going and learn along the way. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated that “you don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Nothing will ever be perfect, nor will it be easy. For example, one of my biggest talking points when it comes to 4 The Endorphins is that I am creating a brand that encourages people to use fitness to help manage mental and physical health. The image of myself that should be standing before you as you read this today is not the image I had/have in mind. At the same time, this image is a reflection of a real-life person that has the same struggles as you. The person that stands before you tend to eat when they are sad, sometimes hates their own body, still has depressive episodes, and still needs to go to therapy. I am human.
All that said, I think it’s time for me to further change my mindset. Let’s proceed to call it the impact mindset. I don’t know if some famous doctor has already defined this mindset or if it already exists, but I’m going to define it as a mindset of doing what you have to do to leave your mark on this world. You were born for a reason whether you believe or not. In 2011, author Mel Robbins stated that the odds of being born are one in 400 trillion. Basically, just to have breath in your body is a miracle. So - be impactful.