Recently, I attended my high school best friend’s wedding (YASSSS)! It’s crazy especially because we started off hating each other. I was never one to get in trouble in school, but I was willing to risk it all to fight her (lol). I was just waiting on her to hit me first as that was one rule my mom trusted me to uphold. Don’t hit anyone unless they hit you first and if they don’t knock you out, you better get up and defend yourself. But…. She never hit me… and someway, somehow, we eventually became best friends. Still to this day, we don’t know how we became friends. It was like we woke up one morning and both decided, “I don’t want to hate her anymore.” It’s crazy how God works (lol).
Anyway, spending time with her before the wedding had me thinking about the term “best friend.” I have found that I have been blessed with a different best friend in every phase of my life. Let me explain...
In elementary school, Matti was my best friend. We were the black & white duo back then. Color wasn’t a topic for us. We just loved being in each other’s company. In High School, Treana was my best friend. I had a lot of associates, but I wasn’t really close to anyone. Now that I think about it, this was when I slowly started becoming somewhat of a loner and the dark clouds were really forming. I wasn’t popular, but because I was basically a nerd who played sports, people knew who I was, and I got along with all the different crews. You know... the nerds, the jocks, the emo crew, etc. There were a few people I was close to on a friend level, but I didn’t share a lot of info about myself with them. I just didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. Then, I went to college where recluse became my middle name. It took a lot to convince me to go out and it still is actually (lol). It’s a huge deal to my true friends if I drink or decide to go anywhere because everyone knows "I don’t like people” which means I prefer to stay home. I will admit that it gets lonely there, but the best friends don't let me stay lonely too long. In college, my best friend was Candice. She didn’t judge me for wanting to stay home. We actually shared an apartment together and everything. We were able to give each other space, but be there for each other when needed. Yet , I had to graduate and so did she. I proceeded to work on my Master's degree and at the same time joined Delta Sigma Theta Sorority (OO-OOP) at which I met my line sister, Shawntè. Candice was still around. We just didn't live together anymore, but were still close. After I graduated with my Masters degree, I met Paula and built a stronger friendship with Deanna. I consider Shawntè, Paula, and Deanna my adult best friends.
In each phase of my life, God blessed me with someone I could trust and depend on. I preach all the time about having a good support system. As I have mentioned so many times before, my husband is my rock. However, there is just something about have that friend you can hit up and be like “I’m not ok, but I’m not ready to talk about it” and it be ok. My husband is still learning how to not try to fix certain things. It’s his nature to do so like most men, but sometimes I just need to vent or cry and have him in my presence to feel safe. He has gotten way better at it though. The best friend usually understands though. Some things are just better left unsaid. My friends keep me a bottle of Deep Eddy’s Lemon on deck and/or some sweet white wine in the fridge and my best friends know when I need me time or chill time. THEY ALREADY KNOW.
So, if you have best friends worth the label, then hold on to them and tell them you appreciate them. Notice I said “worth the label” because some of y’all call people best friends and they use you and mentally abuse you. Friends are fun to be around, shows empathy, supportive and able to find the humor in life. However, best friends are all that and more. They are loyal, ride or die, trustworthy, and sometimes brutally honest. They are there for the long haul no matter how much time or distance comes between you all… when you are with each other, everything picks up where you left off. So, do you know who your best friends are?